This interview is for "Hailing Hellions," a Q&A series where I interview sex workers (or ex-sex workers) who have modeled for me and my Sex Positivity* book project. Today's guest is Amy Chan! This is the SFW version; click here for the SFW-version interview compendium!

*The longer title being Sex Positivity versus Sex Coercion, or Gothic Communism: Liberating Sex Work under Capitalism through Iconoclastic Art (2023). Part of an overarching movement that connects sex positivity to what I call "Gothic (gay-anarcho) Communism," Sex Positivity essentially provides a hybrid; i.e., one established between academic (Gothic, queer, game and Marxist) theories, and wherein applied theory towards universal liberation is achieved by challenging Capitalist Realism (the inability to imagine a world beyond Capitalism) at a grassroots level. To it, Gothic Communism specifically occurs through direct mutual worker action and informed intersectional solidarity relayed through Gothic poetics: BDSM, monsters, and kink, but specifically what I call "ludo-Gothic BDSM." 

General CW: BDSM, Gothic content and theatrics (e.g., rape play and death theatre), as well as sex worker abuse and bigotry of various kinds (variable per interview); discussions of sex work, underwear photos/photos of sex toys, and fascism

Specific CW: sexual assault/use of the word "rape," child sexual abuse

Concerning Images, Censorship and Permissions: All images are of the model or myself unless otherwise stated. As this is the SFW version of the interview, the images are relatively tame, cropped or censored; to see the spicier stuff each model offers, go to the NSFW version of this series on my website. Any publicly available images are exhibited for purposes of education, transformation and critique, thus fall under Fair Use; private nude material and collabs with models are specifically shared with permission from the original model(s). For more details about artist permissions, refer to the book disclaimer.

About the series: Like the book series it attaches to, "Hailing Hellions" aims to educate and critique; i.e., by raising awareness towards sex worker rights, but also gender-non-conformity through Gothic counterculture. This extends to gender identity (e.g., trans, enby or intersex) but also orientation and performance; i.e., BDSM and sex positivity through various Gothic theatrical roles that invite things beyond vanilla, heteronormative (thus conservative, reactionary and harmful) sexuality. I would consider this to be things like mommy dommes and consent-non-consent, breeding fantasies and heavy metal (e.g., Satanic material and the Gothic at large). Also, these questions are broader insofar as they cover wide praxial/poetic ideas and concepts. Regarding these, the opinions of the subject and myself are not identical, but often overlap through us collaborating together to raise awareness.

About the interviewee: Amy is someone I met on Bluesky while looking to continue working with SWers after my book series initially concluded (re: "It Began with a Whisper," 2025) and after several more books in 2026, Volume Four and Volume Five. In short, I saw her work recently, liked it, and decided to reach out; she responded, and we went from there!

0. Persephone: Hi, everyone! My name is Persephone van der Waard. I'm a trans-woman erotic artist, sex worker, writer/author and researcher who specializes in cross-media studies; i.e., I have my independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania).

Amy, could you introduce yourself and share a little about yourself with our audience?

Amy: Hi, I'm Amy. Originally, I'm from Belgium but I've been living abroad for the last eight-and-a-half years. I've been a sex worker for the last eight years as well. I'm also an anthropologist who did fieldwork in Japan, where I researched local forms of feminism and the impact of the global #MeToo movement on already existing forms of everyday resistance within Japan's society. I'm an outspoken feminist who doesn't have a problem with doing sex work; rather the opposite: my sex work is a rebellion against the system that tells us that sex work is a form of oppression.

1. Persephone: This book project views sex positivity as a liberating act. What does sex positivity mean to you? Illustrating mutual consent; i.e., can porn illustrate mutual consent when sex workers are constantly dehumanized by the profit motive and the status quo?

Amy: Sex positivity can mean many things at the same time. Of which mutual consent is only one. Sex positivity doesn't mean that I agree with everything that is mainstream in the porn industry, it does (for me) mean that I want to challenge the idea that sex work is inherently patriarchal and anti-feminism. I've made it one of my major goals to show mutual consent and enjoyment from sex, in my work. While there is a difficult dichotomy between doing porn and the way sex work is perceived in society in general. The profit motive is one of the things I often struggle with, because sex work is my major source of income. Which means having to cater to a male-gaze at times, in order to sell. Which can often conflict with my personal opinions. But I try to find a balance between both as good as I can, within my abilities. But for me sex work (and thus positivity) is a means to take back control, not the opposite.

2. Persephone: In your mind, what is the biggest struggle facing sex workers today?

Amy: I think that's not an easy question to answer. In the first place because sex work is a broad definition for a lot of different professions. Somebody who is a stripper will have a different experience and struggle than somebody who is a cam model or someone who does OnlyFans. While I do use the term sex worker, it's difficult for me personally, to give an answer that is able to answer this for everyone doing sex work. But, for me the biggest struggle is twofold: Firstly, the constant deplatforming which has been happening for a few years: online sex workers have been ostracized from a lot of places on the internet, people usually don't have a positive opinion about online sex workers or think you're only looking to "sell." Last couple of years, right-wing groups have also been trying to paint a narrative where banning porn is about "protecting children" which in my eyes is a false flag to further disenfranchise sex workers. Even the platforms I use to make money (for example OnlyFans) would rather not have sex workers on there if they had the chance. It feels like at any point, your whole livelihood could collapse, and that uncertainty is always there. Secondly, there is society: people often assume you are either doing this because you have no other choice (you are a victim) and they can't understand you make a conscious choice to do this job. Or you got people assuming you are doing this temporarily until you find a "real job." At best, it is tolerated, not accepted.

(artist: Amy Chan)

3. Persephone: How do you feel about sex work being work, thus paying sex workers for their labor? This can be unions, but also their representations in media at large.

Amy: When it comes to their portrayal in media in general, there is still so much work to do. Sex workers are often painted as victims or as "bimbos" who don't know what they're doing. People consciously choosing to do this work, are almost never visible. Which is something I'm actively fighting against. For me it seems only normal that people pay for porn, but the majority of people have grown up with porn being available for free, at any time. This is mainly the result of mainstream porn dominating for so long, where most of the money goes toward the producers, instead of the performers. So, a lot of people never even think about paying for porn. I do feel this is slowly changing, but unfortunately very slowly.

4. Persephone: What are your thoughts on Communism vs Capitalism using Gothic poetics? Can monsters be gay Commies?

Amy: This is not my area of expertise, so I can't give too much of an in-depth answer in regard to Gothic poetics. For American readers, I'd probably say I'm progressive. I don't identify as a Communist, Perse—depending on whether we're talking more about the abstract theoretical framework of say Marx, than the (poor) implementation of Communism that we've seen across the world so far. I'd say I'm a social democrat with liberal leanings that believes in a strong democracy that uplifts and protects minority groups. But I'm not aiming toward a violent revolution* or anything. Though, the current state of the world has me worried. But like I said, I don't have a good understanding of Gothic poetics, so it's difficult for me to say anything meaningful in relation to them.

*They will call us violent, regardless; i.e., homewreckers for them, the real pirates, to expose and defeat. The two halves exist in duality, furthering or reversing abject mid-cryptonymy to aid or diminish state predation (which I normally call vampirism, as did Marx). We want to show that we're human mid-dehumanization, reclaiming dehumanizing language in the process (re: the whore's revenge)! It's very liminal, dualistic, holistic. —Perse

5a. Persephone: What drew you to the project/interested you in working on it together with me?

Amy: I'm in the middle of carving out a niche for myself: both as an academic, feminist and pornographer. It's difficult to get heard. So, anybody who wants to shed a positive light on sex work, I'm inclined to work with, even if only to get my voice out.

5a. Persephone: How has that experience been for you? Can you describe it a little?

Amy: I'm usually a little skeptical because I get a lot of people asking me to do things. But sometimes it's a matter of good faith. So far this has been a good experience for me.

6. Persephone: If you feel comfortable talking about it, can you talk about being GNC? What does that mean to you [Amy is cis-bisexual]?

Amy: I think for me it just means everybody should be able to express themselves in any way they see fit. I'm quite liberal in that regard and follow the do-not-harm principle: freedom should only be limited to prevent harm to others. I've always been very pro-LGBTQ+ and that (for me) also includes everyone who doesn't adhere to societies expectations, such as sex workers. I often see how society tries to criticize everyone who doesn't walk the line and it's something I'll simply never understand.

7. Persephone: What do you enjoy most about sex work? What got you started in it?

Amy: I guess it depends on how you define "starting." Me and my husband were monogamous for the first seven years of our relationship. Our sex lives had always been very good and we always communicated openly. At some point he told me he had a fantasy of seeing me with other men. Of course, I didn't immediately say yes; I was a bit apprehensive at first because I'm personally a little jealous at times and was wondering whether he wouldn't also want to have sex with other women as well. But he told me that he didn't have a desire to sleep with other women, and if I wasn't okay with something, we could stop it at any point. That gave me a lot of reassurance. I felt in control. We took our first steps going to swinger clubs, first just to look and play with the two of us, but gradually we explored what we were both okay with, and what not. Trying these things also gave me confidence. I didn't feel like this was something I was doing for my husband, but something I also personally enjoyed very much, and I could see it was the same for him. But we also continued communicating about it every step of the way. At some point we moved abroad, and I started working as a cam model, which I did for about five years. I'd occasionally sell some videos from my live shows on PornHub, which didn't do much. At some point, we met up with somebody for a private threesome, who happened to be a porn actor. We met up a few times after and talked about my job as a cam model and we decided to film one of our threesomes. I put that up on PornHub and noticed how it did significantly better, views-wise. So, we started making more videos like that and that's how our private fun also got integrated into our professional work. Group sex became our niche and we didn't mind, because we were already doing it for fun as well. Once Covid started, we started an OnlyFans, which quickly became our main source of income.

To answer your question about what I enjoy most: I don't think there's any specific thing I can point to: I like the freedom of being my own boss, I like the sex, I like how it feels like a form of taking back control, I like that we can choose our own hours… but there's also plenty of things I dislike about it, as with any other job. At the end of the day, it is just a job.

8. Persephone: Do you have a favorite piece of sex work that you've done, in terms of custom material?

Amy: I've had some funny custom requests over the years. One that I'll always remember is this one: somebody asked me to re-enact the scene from Star Wars: Episode VI with the sarlacc pit*. The pitch was something like this: your pussy is the sarlacc pit and devours everything going inside it. I had no idea how to tackle this, so I ended up taking a poster from The Mandalorian of the wall, putting the sounds of the sarlacc pit on YouTube on repeat, trying to put the poster of The Mandalorian in such a way, that it looked like he was standing in front of me and my dildo was his cock. But handling both the poster, my dildo and a camera turned out to be too difficult for one person. So, I had to ask for help from my husband. Coincidentally a good friend of ours (who we also have sex with) was also there, so it became a three-man operation to keep everything steady. I'm still not sure that was exactly what he was looking for, but he seemed satisfied with the result.

*Vagina dentata, essentially—the uncanny as both friendly and foreign, a vaso-vagal hybridization of those things within/upon female/monstrous-feminine genitalia.

9. Persephone: Do you friends and family know about the work that you do? How do you talk about it with other people who aren't sex workers; i.e., how do you communicate sex worker rights to non sex workers?

Amy: Most of my direct family and friends know about my job. My parents accidentally found out after I forgot to logout of my email on my dad's PC. He called me and said he was extremely worried. He thought I somehow ended up in human trafficking*. But, once I explained everything to them, they were (reluctantly) okay with it. I'm sure they'd still wish I did something else, but they also don't make a problem out of it. My dad will sometimes ask a question, but my mom will usually avoid it. She's from a catholic household, so I think she just prefers to not hear about it. Unfortunately, my sister reacted quite negatively to it, and it has caused us to stop talking to each other. We told our friends around the same time, nobody really seemed to have any negative feelings about, which I appreciated. Though you can sometimes feel they don't completely understand. Lately, when we meet new people and it comes to the topic of our job, we tell them we do porn. Which usually makes for a fun conversation. If people react negatively to it, it just makes it clear these aren't people for us.

*A term that generally applies to any kind of sex work, or trafficking of sex; e.g., a cam model out of their home is technically trafficking in sex. Corporations engage in sex trafficking accordingly with sites like OnlyFans or Fansly. Of course, there's a double standard, and no one can police them for it anymore than cops are policed for their own abusive or hypocritical behaviors. Instead, bankers can enshittify platforms by dictating how and where money flows (as they directly control such things); i.e., through a Protestant ethic that sucks vampirically on unpaid labor (sex work) much like any other. The idea is to fully decriminalize sex work despite its abject treatment, effectively reversing abjection ergo state vampirism while sharing the same stages, bodies and language. Exploitation and liberation overlap, accordingly. —Perse

(artist: Autumn Ivy; cited: "The Nation-State," 2024)

10. Persephone: What are your thoughts on TERFs in sex work [or token sex workers; e.g., Autumn Ivy*, above]; i.e., those who devalue GNC minorities (and other marginalized groups) in the same profession?

Amy: I think TERFs are misguided in general. I haven't actually met any in real life TERFs, so it's difficult to form an opinion on people I've never actually met. But what I dislike from the TERF discourse is how they frame it somehow as "feminism" while they're only limiting the freedom of others and persecuting others for no apparent reason.

*Autumn Ivy someone I've critiqued multiple times—mostly recently in "Toxic Schlock Syndrome" (2025), but also in earlier works that highlight their hypocrisy: 

(source: Wolfhead at Night; cited: "The Nation-State")

11. Persephone: How do you feel about billionaires? Israel and Palestine?

Amy: I don't feel billionaires should exist. I'm not entirely anti-capitalism, but in my lifetime it has become increasingly clear that the difference between the haves and have-nots is widening more every day. Which I believe is untenable if you look at what is happening around the world. In regard to Israel, I believe Zionism is a [settler]-colonial entity that is a danger to the world. It is unbelievable to me how so many democratically elected politicians will still defend the actions of the Israeli army and keep on funding them. I stand by the innocent people, regardless of their religion, who have lost their land, their freedom, their families, their homes… I know in the eyes of some people, what I say here will make them believe I am antisemitic, but I think that is purely propaganda to continue the atrocities the Israeli government / military has been inflicting for decades. I will never judge someone based on their religion or the country they are from. I will judge however governments and ideologies I consider to be harmful, such as Zionism.

(artist: Hannah Gadsby)

12a. Persephone: What are some of your favorite GNC pieces of media (e.g., I love Sense8 and Heartbreak High)? Do you have any GNC role models?

Amy: I don't specifically look for GNC media, so off the top of my head, it's difficult to give a list of my favorites. But one person who I would consider a role model is Hannah Gadsby.

12b. Persephone: To that, GNC people often find their families outside of their birth families; did you have to go elsewhere for that, or is your family relatively understanding of your queerness?

Amy: I'm personally cisgender, so I don't feel this really applies to me. I am however bisexual, but I've been in a straight relationship for almost sixteen years. While my family knows about my bisexuality, it is also not really something that is often talked about, considering I am in a long-term straight relationship [with someone who is straight].

13. Persephone: What about sex workers? Do you have anyone you look up to in particular?

Amy: I've had the pleasure of being in contact with Mary Moody a few times, who always seemed to be a compassionate and warm person.

(artist: Mary Moody)

14. Persephone: There's often a strong theatrical component to sex work and BDSM; i.e., costumes, gender roles, aesthetics of power and death, music, makeup. How do these things intersect for you, and do they cross over into real life for you? For example, do you find yourself wearing similar clothing and expressing yourself sex-positively when you're not on the clock?

Amy: I've made it a thing for myself not to lean into that too much. I decided early on that I wanted to be myself. And myself is just a quirky person who makes witty remarks, who loves to game during her free time and believes in bodily and sexual autonomy. So, instead of putting on sexy lingerie, I'd just do live shows with a normal shirt and just put on some music I liked. I figured, if they don't like me the way I am, then that's too bad. I might be leaving some money on the table because of it, but I believe it is better for my personal mental well-being than trying to be somebody that I'm not. Of course, there is an element of "theater" to it, no matter how you look at it. You got to engage with your audience even if you're tired, or when I'm sexting, I act like I'm horny even if I sometimes am not. But that's not different from most other jobs out there. My sex-positivity is always with me, so it's not something I have to turn on, whether in real life or professionally.

(artists: Cuspid and Pitty Peeve) 

15. Persephone: There's often an animal component to sexuality and gender expression, helping workers establish close bonds with each other and nature; i.e., furries, but also therians and various kinks; e.g., puppy play. How do you feel about these things, be they for work, pleasure, or both?

Amy: It's never been my niche, but I'm open minded to people who are into it. BDSM is also not for me, but that doesn't mean I'm against it. I know what I'm into and that's enough for me. I only recently learned the meaning of therian*, but I personally don't see why it would be a problem.

*For more information about therians, furries and similar devices, refer to my book section, "Call of the Wild" (2025). My partner and book series co-editor/co-writer, Bay Ryan, is also a therian. —Perse

16. Persephone: Sex workers are generally treated as monsters to harm and exploit under capital. Do you have a preferred way of expressing the humanity of sex workers, be that simply stating it or through the work that you do, art, or some combination, etc?

Amy: Recently I've started being more vocal about my opinions, whether they are sex work related or just my opinions in general. Because there is a lack of sex worker voices in general. So, that's one way. In my work, I try to always show reality. In my shoots, you'll see guys having trouble getting hard, difficulty putting on a condom, people laughing out loud, off camera remarks, real orgasms, … I also often release behind-the-scenes videos because I feel it is important that people see how porn truly gets made. In my case, I also like to show true enjoyment. I don't do fake orgasms for example.

17. Persephone: Do you have a particular aspect of liberation you like to focus on; e.g., fat liberation or decriminalizing sex work? To that, what's the difference between positive thinking and liberation in your eyes?

Amy: I don't really make the distinction if I'm being honest. I think there's a lot of work to do in general on this subject. Positivity is about not being ashamed and not letting others shame you for the choices you make, while decriminalizing is the legal framework behind sex work and how we can change that for the better.

(exhibit 62a2 [from "Illustrating Mutual Consent: Empathy," 2025]: Source, top: Fired Up Stilettos; bottom: Kate D'Adamo's "Decriminalization by Any Other Name: Sex Worker Rights in Federal Advocacy" [2020 ...].)

18a. Persephone: How do you feel about BDSM and using calculated risk to confront and heal from trauma? I.e., using collars or whips to experience pain or control as pleasurable, not harmful (I love collars, for instance).

Amy: BDSM is not something I personally partake in, so I feel like I can't really comment on something I don't know enough about. But, if it helps people with trauma, I don't see why it should be a problem.

18b. Persephone: Was there ever a moment where you were on the fence about BDSM or sex work/in the closet, but something happened that changed everything? I.e., was it gradual or more a singular event that motivated you to change; or, were you always kind of out (for me, I decided to change after several bad exes, but also watching Stranger Things, and relating to Max's brush with Vecna in a GNC way)?

Amy: It's weird to say, but even when I was very young (the first time I accidentally saw porn) I was intrigued by it. Even though the first time I had sex was relatively late (19 y/o), I was immediately very much into it. Getting into sex work wasn't a sudden thing, but more a gradual shift that fitted well into our lives and relationship.

(artist: Victoria Saix; source: "An Interview with Victoria Saix," 2025)

19. Persephone: Does expressing yourself in a dehumanized BDSM position (e.g., CNC or living latex, etc) or state of existence speak to your humanity as something to value?

Amy: I can see how that could work for some people, but it is honestly not for me. I've leaned into it from time to time, but it was never fully my thing. I consider myself a switch, personally.

23. Persephone: In terms of calculated risk, how does it feel to surrender some degree of power in a scenario where you can't actually be harmed? Or vice versa, if you have more power? Do you have a preference and if so, why?

Amy: I've often had a few gangbang shoots where it was me and a lot of other guys. Of course, my husband was always there, and I lean on him for my personal safety. But, weirdly enough, situations like that made me feel more in control, not less.

(artist: H.R. Giger; cited: "Before the Plunge," 2025)

24. Persephone: If you feel comfortable answering, can theatrical disempowerment feel healing or therapeutic to you in regards to real trauma?

Amy: I've actually been sexually molested as a child and raped as an adult. I don't link what happened to me in the past to what I do now for a living. I do however see it as a form of taking back control that was taken from me. Doing this work consciously, with consent from everyone involved, is my form of protest and is a form of processing trauma in itself, I believe.

25. Persephone: What's the most stressful thing about sex work? The most liberating?

Amy: The most stressful is probably dealing with the misogyny of so many (mainly men) people. The number of guys who demand that I chat with them the entire day, just because they paid $8.99 for a subscription, is staggering. I don't mind seeing a cock (I even like it) but that doesn't mean that the moment YOU are horny, I should be there to serve you. That's not me and quite frankly goes against everything I stand for. The most liberating: I do this by my choice, not anybody else's. It's my body, my choice. I decide my limits; I decide what I'm okay with and what not. I've learned to communicate my desires, my limits, what I like and what I don't like.

(source: Kinga Hope Csikszentmihalyi's "Reducing the Carceral Population"; or, "The Decriminalization of Sex Work in New Zealand," 2021)

26. Persephone: What are the benefits to doing sex work in today's day an age versus in the past? What do you think needs to improve; e.g., open reactionary bigots versus moderate SWERFs posturing as feminists speaking for all groups?

Amy: I think online sex work has removed a bit of the stigma against sex work, as it became a valid alternative for a lot of people, since it removed the need to leave your home, or even show your face. But there's also a backlash going on at the same time, targeting people for choosing to do sex work. In general, people need to learn that sex work is work, people's body are their own and they decide what to do with it. But I have no illusions that this is something that will be solved any time soon.

27b. Persephone: Media-wise, do you like to read, watch movies, and or play videogames just for fun, but also to gather ideas about gender-non-conformity expression, BDSM and other sex-positive devices?

Amy: I'm an avid gamer. Gaming for me is a bit like therapy. It enables me to relax and ease my mind. I'm not much of a reader. Not because I don't like it, but because the combination of my ADHD and dyslexia make it hard for me to focus. The evening is usually the time when my husband and I watch a show or a movie and smoke some weed together. We don't specifically look for gender-non-conforming media, but it's always nice if we find it and it turns out to be really good.

(artist: Mercedes the Muse)

28. Persephone: What are your thoughts on sex/porn and art, business and pleasure? I like to mix them to form healthier boundaries established between workers; how do you feel about this?

Amy: I think people often don't look at porn as art, but I think that is a misconception. Art is subjective of course, but porn is almost always regarded as low-brow, vulgar, devoid of artistic impressions. While I don't feel that mainstream porn aims to be art, I do think it is possible to create porn that is 'just porn' while also being art. You can have 5 people fucking in close-up and it could be art, in my opinion. But the business part of it, is what I think usually stands in the way of something being art. Because once you make content to appeal to a specific industry standard, for maximum views, you're making it for the views, and it is difficult to maintain that artistic integrity. This, I believe is not solely for porn, but for any form of (artistic) expression. While I don't think that monetization means something can't be art, it is a fine line that you must learn to define. On the one hand you need to be able to support yourself, on the other hand, artistic integrity shouldn't be constrained entirely by the monetary aspect of it. It's funny you mention pleasure in this, because that is how I feel I'm incorporating art within my porn: I believe showing true pleasure and passion on camera, is a form of art in itself. Showing real, raw sexuality and pleasure on camera.

29. Persephone: Per my arguments, Capitalism sexualizes and fetishizes all workers to serve profit, leading to genocide. Keeping that in mind, what is the best way to achieve intersectional solidarity using Gothic poetics?

Amy: I can't really comment on the intersection with Gothic Poetics since it's not my expertise. But your question about capitalism does tie in with what I said her above: there's always a monetary aspect to creating porn. Most people who do porn do so because it pays relatively well. Which doesn't mean that there can't be consent or that all porn is inherently bad because it is rooted in capitalism. But it does make it so that we are bound by what "the market" wants, what people want to see, and as such, drives profits. Which is sometimes an uncomfortable position to be in. But also, not one I have the solution to.

(source: Do Chokkyuu Kareshi x Kanojo, 2017; cited: "Illustrating Mutual Consent: Empathy")

30. Persephone: Can you describe your own struggles with achieving liberation/humanization as a GNC sex worker?

Amy: My goal has always been to show the humanity of sex work. I try not to cater too much to things that don't align with me personally. To stay true to myself. I'm a human being, a woman who consciously chooses to do porn. I have my convictions and opinions, that's how I try to show the human behind the porn. At least for myself.

31. Persephone: I view sex work as an important means of de facto (extracurricular) education; i.e., entertainment, but also a means of humanizing people within the practice at large. How do you feel about this? Can we learn from art and porn as a means of humanizing marginalized groups?

Amy: I think we can, but I don't we'll get that from mainstream porn. That's why I believe we need sex workers to raise their voices and let themselves be heard. We live in an age where AI is taking over in record speed many industries, even in porn. I counter that by showing who I am: my opinions, my body (including its imperfections), … to give a kind of counter-narrative. So, in that way I think it is possible to learn from art and porn as means of humanizing marginalized groups.

32. Persephone: I value establishing mutual trust, healthy communication and boundary formation/negotiation and respect, seeing them to be the most vital qualities in any relationship. Do you agree, and if so, why?

Amy: Yes, I agree completely. Consent is (and always should be) the basis of any relationship (sexual or otherwise). I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing, if there was no consent-based relationship. Both with my husband but also the people I choose to have sex with.

33. Persephone: How do you orient and what are your thoughts on polyamory insofar as it affects your work? For the layperson/uninitiated, how would you describe the difference between a fuck buddy/FWB and other more casual relationships versus serious ones? Can people be friends and still have sex in a casual manner? What is the most valuable aspect of a friendship regardless if sex is a part of the equation or not?

Amy: Me and my husband consider ourselves polygamous but not polyamorous but it's not as clear cut as I make it sound now. When I think of polyamory, I think of someone being in a romantic relationship with multiple partners, which is not something I could (nor want to) do. But I also don't look at the people we have sex with as just fuck buddies. Some of our best friends over the years, we've met through sex. Sometimes people who stayed talking after a shoot and we continued seeing each other as friends afterwards. Sometimes sexual, sometimes not. Lately we've become very close with someone, first solely on a friendship (non-sexual basis) but later on we also started having sex together. I can simultaneously care and love them in an almost romantic way, but I do make sure it wouldn't come to stand in between me and my husband's relationship. For me, sex could be a part of a friendship, but it doesn't really change the friendship in itself. For me, a friendship forms when I feel I can be myself with a person.

34. Persephone: If you have a partner, do they know about the work that you do? How comfortable are they with it?

Amy: My husband is fully on board with what I do. We've been doing it together all these years. We have a very strong relationship. If there's something he or I aren't comfortable with, we'll always communicate that with each other.

35. Persephone: How did you and your partner meet? What do you think makes an ideal partner?

Amy: We met during a party at the start of the academic year. We were both nineteen. He was my first boyfriend. We immediately hit it off. At the end of the evening, I asked for his email address. Within a couple of months, we were living together. We've been together ever since.

36. Persephone: What advice would you give incels, nice guys and other cis-het men (or token groups; e.g., TERFs and cis-queer tokens, etc) displaying bigoted attitudes towards women and other marginalized groups?

Amy: Talk to people outside your bubble. Try to actively listen to their stories instead of immediately judging based on your current set of beliefs.

37. Persephone: Likewise, what advice would you give to more privileged groups that need to understand the value of listening to those more oppressed than them in a larger struggle for liberation?

Amy: Probably the same thing.

38. Persephone: What are your thoughts on GNC people who are still in the closet but thinking about coming out? Where should they go and who should they talk to?

Amy: I'm cisgender so I feel weird giving them advice on something that isn't my territory. But if I had to say something, I'd probably say: go and find similar people who've gone through the same thing you are currently going through. Find peers, people who support you and take you for who you are.

39. Persephone: Similarly, for those thinking about doing sex work for the first time, where is a good place to start with that; i.e., what advice would you give to those starting out based on your own experiences?

Amy: Don't assume this job is an easy way to make money. It takes time and a lot of effort. You also need to be in a good place emotionally, as this job will take a lot from you and you need to be ready to confront society if you decide to do it.

40a1. Persephone: What's your idea of the perfect date? The ideal fuck? Do you have an ideal experience of either you'd like to share?

Amy: I'll go with the ideal fuck and share an experience from a few years ago: when we had just moved abroad, we were still finding our way in what we wanted in regard to exploring our sexuality. We had experiences with swinger clubs, but once we moved to the other side of the world, it was an entirely different world that we didn't yet know nor understand. So, for a while we stayed with private sex meet-ups. Our first meet-up like that was actually not a good experience: none of us knew exactly how to act, how to start things off, … and it was just an uncomfortable evening. For a while we were thinking of just going back to just the two of us. That's when we met up with (whom I mentioned earlier) a professional porn actor for private fun. We had a drink first and talked a little bit, we then went to our hotel room and the first thing he said to me was: "You want to fuck?" and normally that would've been too direct for my taste. But he said it with such a flair, that it was clear that he knew what he was doing, that he knew that's why we were there with him, that I immediately felt secure. He knew how to take control, without taking away mine. That, to me, was immensely sexy.

40a2. Persephone: What's your wildest/most enjoyable sexual encounter (e.g., sex in public, in the kitchen while the roomies are home, etc)?

Amy: Ironically, I think my wildest sexual encounters are definitely not my most enjoyable encounters. I've had my fair share of public sex, in weird places or people watching, but most of all I like sex in a decent bed, with a pillow for my neck. It's difficult to pick a most enjoyable one, because I've had so many amazing sexual encounters, it's difficult to really pick just one.

40b. Persephone: For you, what's the cutest thing a partner can do, in bed or out? For example, my partner Bay loves it when new partners come really fast/are having their first time PIV with Bay. Consent, intimacy and affection are all really sexy and fun for Bay. How about you?

Amy: For me that would be just the small quirks my husband has: we've been together so long that I know exactly how he'll react, and he knows me. One thing we both do and we both love, is being silly during sex: funny faces, making jokes, … sex doesn't have to be serious all the time.

40c. Persephone: What are your thoughts on consensual voyeurism and exhibitionism as educational/entertaining acts? Does being able to be more open and communicative help us learn from each other to see each other as human and also what to watch out for/what to challenge at a systemic level?

Amy: I think seeing how others derive sexual pleasure from things you don't or haven't experienced yet, is educational in itself. Because it shows another side that you might not yet know and broaden your frame of mind. It doesn't mean it has to be something for you, but you can learn about what you are into and what you're not into.

41a. Persephone: Does fucking to music, roleplay and other theatrical elements make sex better?

Amy: It depends. I often like some background music as it creates a good atmosphere. I'm personally less a fan of roleplaying (just for me personally) because I like being myself. Whether it makes it better is subjective in my opinion.

42. Persephone: If you have any ace leanings, would you like to talk about that in relation to the work that you do?

Amy: I'm definitely not asexual. But I do understand how you can have a romantic relationship that doesn't have a sexual component to it. I feel it interweaves with for example how I look at certain friendships I've made that often include sexual aspects and often don't.

43. Persephone: Connections between sex workers and clients is often discrete under capital. Can a degree of friendship and intimacy make for a better relationship between the two?

Amy: I think so, yes. I always try to make genuine connections with people who subscribe to my platform. I feel that is what distinguishes us from mainstream porn and is the main reason why people want to pay for porn. They're looking for more than just somebody to jerk off to: they're also looking a person they can connect to.

44. Persephone: For people struggling with gender expectations like being the right size or pleasing one's partner and enjoying oneself, is there anything you might recommend?

Amy: Let go of the expectations of society on what is normal or what you think you need to do or what is considered 'normal'. Everybody's body works differently and it takes time to understand what somebody likes. I've had sex with dozens of men (and women) and the person who still knows my body the best, is my husband. Because he had the time to learn my body. A lot of guys think the size of their cock is important, but I've had literally all sizes you can imagine, and I still don't care. I care if you take the time to get to know my body and what I like.

45. Persephone: How does it feel being your true self, despite the risks of gay panic and similar moral panics in America and around the world?

Amy: Sometimes it can be anxiety inducing, but more often I'm proud of it. I don't want to be ashamed of why I am or what I do. Regardless of the criticisms I'll get thrown my way.

47. Persephone: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, and also for working on Sex Positivity with me. If people want to follow you, where can they follow you and support what you do?

Amy: At OnlyFans.