This interview is for "Hailing Hellions," a Q&A series where I interview sex workers (or ex-sex workers) who have modeled for me and my Sex Positivity* book project. Today's guest is Vera Dominus! This is the SFW version; click here for the SFW-version interview compendium!
*The longer title being Sex Positivity versus Sex Coercion, or Gothic Communism: Liberating Sex Work under Capitalism through Iconoclastic Art (2023). Part of an overarching movement that connects sex positivity to what I call "Gothic (gay-anarcho) Communism," Sex Positivity essentially provides a hybrid; i.e., one established between academic (Gothic, queer, game and Marxist) theories, and wherein applied theory towards universal liberation is achieved by challenging Capitalist Realism (the inability to imagine a world beyond Capitalism) at a grassroots level. To it, Gothic Communism specifically occurs through direct mutual worker action and informed intersectional solidarity relayed through Gothic poetics: BDSM, monsters, and kink, but specifically what I call "ludo-Gothic BDSM."
If you're curious about the book and want to know more, the first four volumes (and additional information) are available for free (the series is non-profit) on my website's 1-page promo (a copy-paste for said promo is available on this blog and provides the same information, except it features SFW images to account for Blogger's automated censorship).
General CW: BDSM, Gothic content and theatrics (e.g., rape play and death theatre), as well as sex worker abuse and bigotry of various kinds (variable per interview).
Note: All images are of the model or myself unless otherwise stated.
About the series: Like the book series it attaches to, "Hailing Hellions" aims to educate and critique; i.e., by raising awareness towards sex worker rights, but also gender-non-conformity through Gothic counterculture. This extends to gender identity (e.g., trans, enby or intersex) but also orientation and performance; i.e., BDSM and sex positivity through various Gothic theatrical roles that invite things beyond vanilla, heteronormative (thus conservative, reactionary and harmful) sexuality. I would consider this to be things like mommy dommes and consent-non-consent, breeding fantasies and heavy metal (e.g., Satanic material and the Gothic at large). Also, these questions are broader insofar as they cover wide praxial/poetic ideas and concepts. Regarding these, the opinions of the subject and myself are not identical, but often overlap through us collaborating together to raise awareness.
About the interviewee: Vera is someone I've worked with before; re: by drawing them as a dark fawn for "Uphill Battle" in my manifesto (below)! I've also featured them in "Healing from Rape" from the same volume, and in my PhD (re: "The Finale"). They're lovely to play with and do amazing work!
(model and artist: Vera Dominus and Persephone van der Waard)
0. Persephone: Hi, everyone! My name is Persephone van der Waard. I'm a trans-woman erotic artist, sex worker, writer/author and researcher who specializes in cross-media studies; i.e., I have my independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania).
Vera, could you introduce yourself and share a little about yourself with our audience?
Vera: Hi there, my name is Vera Dominus! I'm a 30 year old homesteading housewife who just so happens to also be a sex worker. I've been part of the community since I was 18. I started as a stripper and quickly learned that was not for me; but through the online camming space and then eventually in-person, I found dominatrix was more my speed.
1. Persephone: This book project views sex positivity as a liberating act. What does sex positivity mean to you? Illustrating mutual consent; i.e., can porn illustrate mutual consent when sex workers are constantly dehumanized by the profit motive and the status quo?
Vera: Sex positivity is the ability to feel completely comfortable in one’s own skin and their actions. Truly owning 100% of yourself and making space for others to also feel safe to share themselves in that manner. Now porn can absolutely illustrate mutual consent when SOCIETY itself stops demonizing the entire industry as a whole. The people need to wake up and realize we as sex workers are serving a purpose just like everyone else in the world. Without all the shame and pressure, there wouldn't be a need to constantly outdo yourself or another sex worker for monetary gain [re: the Protestant ethic].
2. Persephone: In your mind, what is the biggest struggle facing sex workers today?
Vera: Being able to safely do our jobs whether it's online or in person. Tech and hackers have become more vicious, as well as just general stalker behavior with the rise of social media, so how do you combat that? Provide sex workers with proper protections just like most jobs would! Protect their identity, legal advice, provide information on proper healthcare and most importantly, BELIEVE THEM! This shouldn’t be a sensitive and dangerous profession.
3. Persephone: How do you feel about sex work being work, thus paying sex workers for their labor? This can be unions, but also their representations in media at large.
Vera: I will scream it at the top of my lungs until the day I die: ABSOLUTELY YES it is real work! I'm essentially a general contractor; I have an office, a uniform, I need to keep up with clients, give estimates, write invoices and attend “meetings” in a sense. How is that not a real job? That's a lot to keep up with—especially if you have a 9-5 or even a family. Yet no one thinks about all the work that goes into it or the toll it can take on that person's body.
As far as unions go, maybe to ensure legal protections and provide society with some kinda “proof” it's a real profession. But I already pay enough for my taxes, so if they were to increase that would truly be upsetting. I think instead we should be taught how to properly file for ourselves like that we’re not stuck having to explain to some 60 year old dude what we do for a living. That's what leads to so many people either hiding everything or paying thousands more than everyone else because they weren't given the proper tools for the job.
4. Persephone: What are your thoughts on Communism vs Capitalism using Gothic poetics? Can monsters be gay Commies?
Vera: I'm not well versed in any of it really, but from living in America during Trump rule I can tell you Capitalism sucks! I can see myself as a Socialist Commie, as I already live and feed my family from my land. So absolutely monsters can be gay Commies!
5a. Persephone: What drew you to the project/interested you in working on it together with me?
Vera: Well after you contacted me I looked through your work. You write wonderfully and I've always been drawn to a more monstrous/dark aesthetic. So your gallery was right up my alley. Not only do I get to be transformed into some crazy sexy monster, but it also gets to live on forever in your works?! That alone to me is incredible and I'm so grateful to be apart of it.
5b. Persephone: How has that experience been for you? Can you describe it a little?
Vera: It's been absolutely delightful. I've been made to feel understood and valued for the work I do. There was no rushing or excessive demands. You have a good soul and you make the whole experience very comfortable.
6. Persephone: If you feel comfortable talking about it, can you talk about being GNC? What does that mean to you?
Vera: What it means to me is feeling liberated and comfortable in my own skin, so of course I have no issues discussing it. I never really felt like I ever fit into just one box. When I grew up it was just 2 genders and 4 options of sexuality. Now the community has grown so vast that I can absolutely find a perfect little box I fit into! Which is amazing considering now we see people like us all over the place finally getting representation; every queer kid's dream is to see someone like them in real life actually being able to live their life.
Now granted, I do live in a red state in the US with a shaved head and a husband who refuses to cut his hair. So we do get the occasional harassment from an old white lady! And I have experienced some terrible things regarding just my appearance, but I simply can't allow those things to impact my life*.
*Absolutely! The closet is segregation and silence, and while segregation is no defense from our abusers (who shove us into pens for orderly disposal in service to profit), silence is genocide being allowed to continue. —Perse
7. Persephone: What do you enjoy most about sex work? What got you started in it?
Vera: To be quite honest, I love the freedom that comes with being your own boss/director/etc. I have plenty of friends in the porn industry and it all just seems so daunting. But in my world, I make the rules and set the stakes. I have absolute freedom to express myself in whatever way I see fit.
My journey started at 18 as a stripper, as stated above, but that clearly didn't stick. I hated the fact that people could touch me which eventually led me into the online camming space. For years I was able to work from home and I loved it. Then at the age of 22, I met a woman in a bar who just so happened to be a dominatrix. I expressed my interest in being like her and a few months later she had me contracted and working out of her basement dungeon in West Philadelphia. The rest is history!
8. Persephone: Do you have a favorite piece of sex work that you've done, in terms of custom material?
Vera: I used to make these wonderful Cuckold videos with my husband where we'd be having sex or me sucking his dick; meanwhile either him or I are holding up pieces of paper with belittling notes on them. No real words spoken, just sex sounds and paper crinkling. Just completely destroyed my client.
9. Persephone: Do you friends and family know about the work that you do? How do you talk about it with other people who aren't sex workers; i.e., how do you communicate sex worker rights to non sex workers?
Vera: They absolutely do! Most of my own friends—especially during COVID—flocked to the craft. My family is also pretty supportive, they know I keep myself safe and know how to handle myself. But you talk about it just like everything else. The more normal you make it, the more normal it becomes. At the end of the day sex worker rights are basic human rights*!
*Which, as I explain, challenge profit during the whore's revenge; i.e., against the pimp policing nature out of revenge (re: "Rape Reprise"). —Perse
10. Persephone: What are your thoughts on TERFs in sex work; i.e., those who devalue GNC minorities (and other marginalized groups) in the same profession?
Vera: They don't belong. Period. They devalue us, so we need to devalue them.
11. Persephone: How do you feel about billionaires? Israel and Palestine?
Vera: Billionaires are the absolute worst, just look at the US right now. And I know I should be more involved, but there's so many terrible things happening all at once, it's hard to keep up. But from what I've seen/read I stand with Palestine.
12a. Persephone: What are some of your favorite GNC pieces of media (e.g., I love Sense8 and Heartbreak High)? Do you have any GNC role models?
Vera: My biggest GNC role model is 100% Grace Jones! They just had such a power that I have yet to see again in my generation. Beauty, brains and the kindest soul. But we can't forget the queen of weird, Divine*! My introduction to the world of drag and grotesque comedy. Your weirdo soul will forever live on in my heart.
*Fun fact, but the original inspiration for Ursula from The Little Mermaid (1991) was Divine (source: Laura Zornosa's "Once Upon a Time, Ursula Was a Drag Queen," 2023); i.e., the "bury your gays" trope further combined with medieval theatre's vice character tropes in 1960s and '70s camp (e.g., Rocky Horror, 1975). Borrowed hauntologically from the imaginary performative past (as all Gothic is), all originate from a former time where only boys and men—but commonly homosexual men (e.g., Shakespeare)—were allowed to act onstage (most 20th century drag queens are historically cis-het, with terms like "trans" being formally introduced in 1965; re: "What Is Problematic Love?"). Furthermore, Horace Walpole—the father of the Gothic novel, hence mode—was arguably gay, as was Matthew Lewis (re: "Prey as Liberators").
Beyond cis gay men as the go-to scapegoats of the medieval and neo-medieval periods, the fact remains that trans, non-binary and intersex people have existed alongside them; i.e., since the dawn of time. Yet the West has commonly demonized them through the abjection process, too; i.e., historically through homosexual men as the most legally visible of the bunch. This includes well before the term "homosexual" existed (e.g., sodomy accusations and prosecuting them in the 1700s, vis-à-vis Colin Broadmoor's "Camping the Canon," 2021), and well into capital, after "homosexual" existed and men outed as such were being prosecuted medically (re: from 1872 onwards, vis-à-vis Foucault's A History of Sexuality, 1980): alongside other persecuted minorities, from Oscar Wilde onwards (re: the first public trial of homosexuality, "Making Marx Gay"); i.e., as capital and the bourgeoisie evolved to abuse such modular persecution language under new, increasingly diverse, flexible and inclusive models of intersectional exploitation (re: witch hunts, sodomy, Orientalism and blood libel, vis-à-vis my "Idle Hands" chapter, "Policing the Whore" and "A Vampire History Primer," etc).
All in all, capital commodifies marginalized exploitation, effectively controlling opposition through the tokenized language of alienation; i.e., as only going up in its usage through a swelling profit motive under neoliberalism (a freeing of the market). We must expand in opposition to such bad-faith usage, camping what has become canon on the Aegis; e.g., Divine is fine, to my knowledge, but RuPaul is transphobic (source: Michael Cuby's "These Trans and Cis Female Drag Queens Have Some WORDS for RuPaul," 2018); re: "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" applying to any group assimilating inside the Man Box (see: Mark Greene); i.e., acting like a white straight man under the Protestant ethic, as many second wave feminists and drag queens (from the 1960s, '70s and '80s) have historically done into the present space and time. —Perse
12b. Persephone: To that, GNC people often find their families outside of their birth families; did you have to go elsewhere for that, or is your family relatively understanding of your queerness?
Vera: My mother and father never truly accepted it. Then my dad disappeared so I became my mother's walking show pony. But luckily I had my grandmother who lived with us who loved me no matter what; she even took me to shave off all my hair in 7th grade! Outside of that, I did unfortunately have to look for family elsewhere. However I wouldn't have changed any of my experiences considering they led me to meeting some of the best people in the world (and in the Philly gay scene).
13. Persephone: What about sex workers? Do you have anyone you look up to in particular?
Vera: I mean, besides my own friends, TS Madison has given me the most strength to keep up in this line of work. She truly started from the bottom and now is a full on philanthropist! Now if those aren't true goals, I don't know what would be!
16. Persephone: Sex workers are generally treated as monsters to harm and exploit under capital. Do you have a preferred way of expressing the humanity of sex workers, be that simply stating it or through the work that you do, art, or some combination, etc?
Vera: I believe we all need to have bigger, louder voices. We need to be shouting from the rooftops that we are people just trying to survive like the rest of the world. But also using your platform to your advantage, so your work should reflect your words.
17. Persephone: Do you have a particular aspect of liberation you like to focus on; e.g., fat liberation or decriminalizing sex work? To that, what's the difference between positive thinking and liberation in your eyes?
Vera: Regarding the decriminalization of sex work, the difference is action vs inaction. Positive thinking can only get you so far when your fellow peers are still being dehumanized. You need to act and fight; that's liberation.
18a. Persephone: How do you feel about BDSM and using calculated risk to confront and heal from trauma? I.e., using collars or whips to experience pain or control as pleasurable, not harmful (I love collars, for instance).
Vera: I believe you can absolutely recondition your brain from trauma with BDSM, but it also depends on what exactly you're trying to heal from. For people who feel they've lost control, maybe taking the reins and being the Master* will help you! Putting all the power into your own hands can be incredibly therapeutic.
*Speaking from experience, I've found that to be enjoyable; but also, I love to lose control as a paradoxical form of control through play (to gain control by playing with things)—i.e., the sub having power through domains of mutual consent during RACK and calculated risk; re, "ludo-Gothic BDSM" as I devised it having its own paradoxical origins tied to lived abuse (from "Angry Mothers"):
To that, I'll let you in on a little secret: The greatest irony of Jadis harming me [something we'll go into more detail about during the undead module] is they accidentally gifted me with the appreciation of calculated risk. Scoured with invisible knives, I don't view my scars as a "weakness" at all; I relish the feeling of proximity to the ghost of total power—of knowing that motherfucker took me to the edge but didn't take everything from me: I escaped them and lived to do my greatest work in spite of their treachery! Like the halls of a cathedral, my lived torments and joys color this castled work, ornamenting its various passages with the power of a full life. I've known such terror that makes the various joys I experience now all the more sweet and delicious. I am visited by ghosts of my rapturous design, the empress of my fate, the queen of a universe shared with seraphs the likes of which I can hardly describe; "no coward soul is mine" (source). —Perse
20. Persephone: What got you interested in BDSM? Do you have a preference in terms of what you give or receive?
Vera: It was my first boyfriend actually. We were just two young weirdos experimenting on each other. But I myself am a switch so I can never truly decide whether or not I want to lead or be led*. I enjoy having power as much as I like giving it up.
*Ditto. See: above. —Perse
21. Persephone: In your mind, is BDSM inherently sexual? If so or if not, can you explain why?
Vera: I don't believe so. Obviously some things are without a doubt but I believe not all are inherently sexual*. Some seek comfort or acceptance. Like stated above, BDSM can be extremely therapeutic in a number of ways.
*I agree; e.g., public nudism has things that can be viewed sexually but also simply exist. For example, my friend and cover model Blxxd Bunny is very active in sex work, but through all the sex they demonstrably have and nudity they exhibit through their art, their relationship to it is unquestionably ace in their own words; i.e., as a campy process that sometimes involves other people (re: "The Finale"): interrogating power and harm by sitting adjacent to it as a perform (the most famous being the Gothic heroine inside the Gothic castle; see: "Radcliffe's Refrain"). —Perse
22. Persephone: Does BDSM inform the sex work that you do in an educational or therapeutic way?
Vera: I guess I could say a little of both!
25. Persephone: What's the most stressful thing about sex work? The most liberating?
Vera: Stressful is promotion and days of posting without much response. Some times of the year are better than others! Most liberating is being able to be my own boss and make my own rules. I set my own boundaries, hours and rules. Everything is in my control.
26. Persephone: What are the benefits to doing sex work in today's day an age versus in the past? What do you think needs to improve; e.g., open reactionary bigots versus moderate SWERFs posturing as feminists speaking for all groups?
Vera: I think safety and exposure are the biggest differences. Safety in terms of, we have the Internet now so you don't necessarily need to leave your house* to make a living. Also with facial recognition, phones in our pockets and things like that, it does make it harder to commit violent acts in public without someone noticing. Exposure in terms of, sex work is more talked about and mainstream almost that it's being viewed as less taboo. Which could in turn, bring awareness to all the negative experiences we face.
*This idea, as I treat it, is called "flashing"; i.e., per the cryptonymy process' "double operation" (re: Hogle) showing and hiding at the same time, but also revealing things about ourselves "on the Aegis": flashing with power as a paralytic device that outs our attackers while keeping us safe; re (from "Before the Plunge"):
We have to acknowledge historical-material dangers as we teach people to not only value trust, but see it as incredibly sexy and hot.
As introduced in Volume One, this can have a "flashing" feel to it (re: "Healing from Rape" alluding to exhibit 53a from "Furry Panic," exhibit 34a1b2b2a1a2 from "What Are Rebellion, Rebels, and Why" and exhibit 34b3b2 from "My Experiences," exhibits 89 and 101a, here, etc)—exposing ourselves to reactionary outrage/moderate condescension (see, below: exhibit 61b) and genocide as we try to teach better ways that convey the unspeakable in healthy forms; i.e., good monster sex, healthy rape fantasies and other extreme forms of traumatic healing that accrete sublimated forms (exhibit 84a) that can still critique the status quo's heteronormative defenders/nuclear family structure and shame/guilt control language that comes with it. [...] the whole point of iconoclastic praxis is to establish boundaries that must be respected, not compelled through brute force (anyone who argues otherwise is a figurative or literal cop/class traitor). Drawing these lines in the sand is something that can happen in person, but also in sex worker/social-sexual situations with workers going from point A to point B (source).
This revolutionary cryptonymy specifically happens behind invisible barriers or on surfaces made invisible by the image on top: the phone screen as something the viewer cannot cross, while the sex worker can still show what they need to show to out the abuser, thus teach a valuable object lesson and get paid, all at once! —Perse
27a. Persephone: What are your favorite monsters (i.e., undead, demons, and or anthromorphs) and why?
Vera: I've always loved Sirens and trickster creatures like Nymphs. Their lore has just always been fascinating to me and I can kinda relate. Present as a beautiful woman to lure and capture the hearts of men, that'll do it!
27b. Persephone: Media-wise, do you like to read, watch movies, and or play videogames just for fun, but also to gather ideas about gender-non-conformity expression, BDSM and other sex-positive devices?
Vera: I mean I certainly do enjoy when what I'm consuming has GNC characters as it just makes it easier for me to put myself in their shoes, but it's not entirely necessary. I believe representation is important but only if it's authentic. I don't want to be fed society's idea of a GNC person, because most of the time, it's wildly inaccurate.
28. Persephone: What are your thoughts on sex/porn and art, business and pleasure? I like to mix them to form healthier boundaries established between workers; how do you feel about this?
Vera: Porn is art, without a doubt, and who said you can't mix them? Sex work for a lot of people literally just is their lives and we spend hours on YouTube watching people live their lives, so how is it not the same? Content is content, art is art. I truly believe if you're all business, you don't make it super far in this line of work.
31. Persephone: I view sex work as an important means of de facto (extracurricular) education; i.e., entertainment, but also a means of humanizing people within the practice at large. How do you feel about this? Can we learn from art and porn as a means of humanizing marginalized groups?
Vera: Well first off, society needs to understand that porn is art, just like every other movie/tv show they're watching. There was thought and intent put into it just like any other piece of art. Our job as sex workers is to destigmatize our work and make people understand that it is just another art form. Once that happens and people take it seriously, I believe there's an entire well of knowledge we could potentially learn.
32. Persephone: I value establishing mutual trust, healthy communication and boundary formation/negotiation and respect, seeing them to be the most vital qualities in any relationship. Do you agree, and if so, why?
Vera: Absolutely! Without trust and open communication, what really is that relationship? Just two people hanging out together? Your partner is someone who you have no worries about being vulnerable around, so you should be 100% trusting in them for that to happen. Lack of communication only breeds resentment and more trouble.
34. Persephone: If you have a partner, do they know about the work that you do? How comfortable are they with it?
Vera: I had been doing this longer than our relationship; he knew from the beginning and it did take him some time to accept it on his own but he eventually came around. It was more when I was doing actual real meets, he'd obviously be worried for my safety but once I started doing everything strictly online, that solved that problem. Now he's a part of my content!
35. Persephone: How did you and your partner meet? What do you think makes an ideal partner?
Vera: We actually met after I gotten out of a very toxic relationship. It was supposed to just be a one night stand that we both desperately needed, but then he stayed at my house for a week. All because I cooked him dinner the first night and let him fuck my ass*. Almost 6 years later and he's still here.
What makes the ideal partner? Someone who shares not only the same values and morals as you, but also hates all the same things as you! People can have similarities all day, but find someone that hates the same things as you and you'll never have to do that “one thing you hate” ever again. Not to mention, they're usually good listeners as well.
*Fucking oath! Relationships are an exchange—of words, space and time, but also of sex. Certain forms of sex can be more prized for being taboo, but also, some people just really like anal (giving or receiving)! Oddly enough, society identifies homosexual men as liking penetrative anal, for example ("the love that dare not speak its name" stemming historically from sodomy accusations and the ancient canonical codes; re: Foucault). And while this has some truth to it (re: the AIDS epidemic being spread amongst homosexual men versus women for the former's tendency to have penetrative sex), the reality is that many gay men don't like receiving penetrative anal; i.e., so-called "sides" (source: Brian Smith's "Meet the 'Sides," Gay Men Who Don't Like Anal Sex," 2020), but also more extreme forms that cross over into internalized homophobia; e.g., Cockrub Warriors.
But also, these things go beyond cis cases, too; e.g., Zeuhl—an ex of mine from grad school (re: "The Eyeball Zone" and "Non-Magical Detectives")—was non-binary AFAB, and loved anal sex so much they lost their virginity to it (anal being, among other things, a classic means of avoiding pregnancy)! Simply put, anal is abject, but we can reverse said abjection in our daily lives. Such things exist in duality during liminal expression as a dialectical-material struggle. To avoid harm, then, is all about sex being positive, descriptive and liberatory versus coercive, prescriptive and carceral. —Perse.
36. Persephone: What advice would you give incels, nice guys and other cis-het men (or token groups; e.g., TERFs and cis-queer tokens, etc) displaying bigoted attitudes towards women and other marginalized groups?
Vera: Go hug your fucking mom and remember that women are beautiful no matter what form they come in. All your bros are the ones keeping you down. Stop feeling like the world owes you something just because you have a dick. Lastly, you have to treat and respect people in order for them to sleep with you, so maybe start there. Can't do any of that? Then stay away from me!
37. Persephone: Likewise, what advice would you give to more privileged groups that need to understand the value of listening to those more oppressed than them in a larger struggle for liberation?
Vera: Either you listen or one day, no one will be around to listen to you! If people come for our rights or LGBT rights, they will eventually come for your cis-gendered rights. Look at what Trump is doing to America! Perfect example.
38. Persephone: What are your thoughts on GNC people who are still in the closet but thinking about coming out? Where should they go and who should they talk to?
Vera: I truly wish they grow the strength it takes to speak up and stick up for themselves because living a lie is not a way to live at all. But if you have no one close to speak to, there is a GIANT community of people online waiting for you to tell your story and congratulate you on doing so.
39. Persephone: Similarly, for those thinking about doing sex work for the first time, where is a good place to start with that; i.e., what advice would you give to those starting out based on your own experiences?
Vera: Don't look at sex workers on Twitter and expect to be making the same as them. Most people either put up a front or have extensive promotion/production because they're professionals; so comparison is your worst enemy! Be yourself and be authentic, you'll make it so much further and be much happier about the result.
40a1. Persephone: What's your idea of the perfect date? The ideal fuck? Do you have an ideal experience of either you'd like to share?
Vera: Perfect date? We go out, you feed me and then you come back to my house to fuck my ass; when we're done we're smoking a bong, eating snacks and passing out on each other. Now that to me is *chef’s kiss* absolutely beautiful!
40a2. Persephone: What's your wildest/most enjoyable sexual encounter (e.g., sex in public, in the kitchen while the roomies are home, etc)?
Vera: I would have to say fucking on the Septa train going from a concert back to my house. Granted it wasn't fully packed seeing as it was 2am but I know those cameras* saw us!
*In keeping with Foucault, daily life from the 1700s onwards is both seen as something to relegate to the bedroom (re: A History of Sexuality) and something diseased to constantly surveille vis-à-vis a "panopticon" (re: Discipline and Punish, 1975). The only way to rebel, then, is to risk some form of exposure—with sexuality and its exhibition through art something that, while endless ways exist to present it in the public eye, will be treated as fundamentally violent and criminal when not being policed (re: "Policing the Whore"). Prostitution is the oldest form of labor, therefor labor exploitation and action to liberate from said exploitation; i.e., the cop vs the victim, the pimp vs the prostitute, Medusa vs Perseus or Hippolyta (a token cop). The whore's paradox (thus revenge) requires some degree of exposure to speak out; i.e., all sex is risky. This includes nuclear models and abusive husbands, boyfriends and cops (who do most of the raping in Western society), but also being on the receiving end of their jurisdiction. And while I won't openly condone sex in public (as that can potentially infringe on the rights of others), the reality is, sex in public is public by virtue of unwanted surveillance to begin with (e.g., America is a settler colony and police state)! To it, if you can fuck in public, not be seen by other citizens, and avoid detection (or at least persecution) by the cops looking in, then more power to you! It's a risk and people can get hurt, but so is drag racing or bar crawling.
The fact remains, open sexuality is automatically rebellious and rebellion is automatically violent, in state eyes (thus the eyes of state proponents); i.e., sex is automatically a thing to control in ways we must regain while respecting other workers save when said workers function as cops (during moral panics; e.g., Autumn Ivy as a token [enby] whore cop; re: "The Nation-State"). As such, it is both possible to punch up and avoid a captive audience, but the reality is also more complicated: we're all captive audiences under capital, and to different degrees and flavors of privilege and oppression (re: "Healing from Rape"). When illustrating mutual consent, then, this includes our audience in ways whose informed viewership and participation we can inform as they're forced to look on/fear us; i.e., that sex work is something to canonically closet by cops, therefore requiring whores some paradoxical form of exhibit to voice their own genocide during the shaming process; re: "silence is genocide" (see: "Goblins, Anti-Semitism, and Monster-Fucking").
To it, speaking out/about sex work through sex work walks the self-same line as education at large does; i.e., a balancing act, but an important one, and one where sex workers who educate (a core idea of my book series being informed consumption and de facto education) find ways to educate others. They must do so in ways that a) respect the rights of their de facto students (consumers) as allies, and b) exist publicly in liminal territories, onstage and off, where the line between ally and cop is blurred; i.e., where the boundaries between exploitation and liberation, but also consent and non-consent, all occupy as "half-real" (re: "Performing Empathy"): during the dialectic of the alien (re: "Hugging the Alien"). Whores are monsters/abject during said dialectic. Learn from them to dismantle the police state as normally raping nature through dialogs of abjection (us versus them) they cannot monopolize! —Perse
40b. Persephone: For you, what's the cutest thing a partner can do, in bed or out? For example, my partner Bay loves it when new partners come really fast/are having their first time PIV with Bay. Consent, intimacy and affection are all really sexy and fun for Bay. How about you?
Vera: My lovely husband is a darling little femboy, so the cutest thing he could possibly do is find himself a new outfit and try it on for me. I know it seems so simple but the look of pure joy on his face is a sight I'll never wish to unsee. I love his confidence and vulnerability with me; and then I get to throw on the strap and turn him into my little slut which we both love immensely!
41a. Persephone: Does fucking to music, roleplay and other theatrical elements make sex better?
Vera: Roleplay is always a fun scenario no matter what you're using to spark the imagination and of course, music is wonderful as well. Especially if you have ADHD or something along those lines; it at least helps me kinda focus on being in the situation more.
42. Persephone: If you have any ace leanings, would you like to talk about that in relation to the work that you do?
Vera: I myself am not ace leaning and if any of my clients are, they are most definitely the silent ones that just subscribe to my pages and stay anonymous. Which is also fine! No judgments here.
43. Persephone: Connections between sex workers and clients is often discrete under capital. Can a degree of friendship and intimacy make for a better relationship between the two?
Vera: ABSOLUTELY! I am guilty of always trying to make a friendship or have total comfortability with my clients because it does produce such a wonderful [working] relationship. There's more trust, thus more ways for you to explore and you can absolutely control them, if they desire, because you hold all the knowledge! Getting to know people is critical to my practice.
44. Persephone: For people struggling with gender expectations like being the right size or pleasing one's partner and enjoying oneself, is there anything you might recommend?
Vera: Stop worrying about all of that because there are plenty of people in the world who will love you despite all those things you think are wrong with you! Just be free, surround yourself with like-minded individuals and let people see you for who you are.
45. Persephone: How does it feel being your true self, despite the risks of gay panic and similar moral panics in America and around the world?
Vera: I mean it is scary at times—especially right now in America with everything Trump is doing—but before his divide, we had some very good years of peace*! If we could just return to that, we'd be alright. For me, I have always been uninterested in what people thought of me and wore what was comfortable so I will continue to do just that! Dressing and acting a certain way is a political stance in and of itself!
*I will say that while that is a nice sentiment, we must be conscious of genocide as having been ongoing during times of perceived American prosperity; i.e., from WWII onwards, leading into Capitalist Realism as it presently exists concealing genocide per the cryptonymy process (e.g., the Iraq Wars and videogames; re: exhibit 34c2, "Fatal Homecomings"). Fascism is Imperialism come home to empire; to avoid the Imperial Boomerang harvesting both sides (and an Omelas situation when the domestic side of the Imperial Core is "at peace"), we must imagine a world beyond Capitalism while inside Capitalism to go beyond its prisons, figurative and liberate. "Peace," then, is classically a white man's word; we mustn't return to normality but subvert its illusions while inside the cave (re: "The World Is a Vampire"). —Perse
46. Persephone: Is there anything else you'd like to say or add before we conclude?
Vera: Society needs to rethink what they know about sex work and gender so we can finally all live in a place without fear. Hey, maybe we can even help you discover something about yourself!
47. Persephone: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions, and also for working on Sex Positivity with me. If people want to follow you, where can they follow you and support what you do?
Vera: You can find me on Bluesky, Twitter, Onlyfans and Fansly under the name @darktendenciesx. Or my Telegram under @herecomes_vera. And thank you for letting me be involved in such an awesome project! This was a lot of fun!
***
Persephone van der Waard is the author of the multi-volume, non-profit book series, Sex Positivity—its art director, sole invigilator, illustrator and primary editor (the other co-writer/co-editor being Bay Ryan). Persephone has her independent PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (focusing on partially on Metroidvania), and is a MtF trans woman, anti-fascist, atheist/Satanist, poly/pan kinkster, erotic artist/pornographer and anarcho-Communist with two partners. Including multiple playmates/friends and collaborators, Persephone and her many muses work/play together on Sex Positivity and on her artwork at large as a sex-positive force. That being said, she still occasionally writes reviews, Gothic analyses, and interviews for fun on her old blog (and makes YouTube videos talking about politics). Any money Persephone earns through commissions or donations goes towards helping sex workers through the Sex Positivity project; i.e., by paying costs and funding shoots, therefore raising awareness. She takes payment on PayPal, Patreon, and CashApp, etc; all links are available on her Linktr.ee. Every bit helps!
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